I just heard a collective groan and I know what you’re thinking. This is going to be another case of sour grapes. For your information, I happen to know that those grapes are pretty darned sweet. At other points in my life I’ve enjoyed the hell out of those grapes. It’s just that right now I’m more in the mood for a good doubles and an ice cold Cream Soda.

I am single and, while that may change by the time you’re reading this, I think that I’m going to stay that way for a while. It doesn’t bother me. In fact, at times, I’m quite content to let things continue as they are. You may ask why, or you might not care at all, but I’ll tell you anyway. Of course I miss the companionship, and I’d have to be pretty out of it to not miss the intimacy, but I have my reasons for not wanting to upset the status quo.

I love my angel above all others:

That little girl right there is my life. She comes first and, to a certain degree, she will always come first. Not many women would understand why I’m so devoted to a child who didn’t spring forth from my nether regions. The truth is, I don’t believe that being a parent has anything to do with genetics and more to do with love. Before you attempt to argue the point, please recall that both of my birth parents were too busy with other pursuits to bother much about raising me. I was there when my friend gave birth to her. I’ve been there through all the diaper changes and hospital trips. I’ve been there so much that she sometimes calls me ‘mommy’. I will not take the chance of dating a woman who doesn’t understand that we come as a package.

I’ve become set in my ways:

I’ve been alone for a long time. What I mean by that is, I haven’t been serious enough with anyone to the point of letting them affect my solitude for quite a while. As such, I like being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. That doesn’t mean I’m not willing to compromise, just that it’ll be a really tough transition. I’ve done it before. I’ve met people halfway and usually ended up having my ass handed to me on a platter. I am very hesitant to do it again. I suppose you could say that I’m a bit gun shy about letting anyone in to my daily routine, but when you’ve taken the shots I have, you begin to appreciate being able to retreat.

There are some crazy bitches out there:

You name it and I’ve probably seen it. You know how it goes. You meet a woman; she seems semi-normal so you start chatting, and the next thing you know you’re getting 20 calls a day from someone you’ve known for a week. Or how about the ones who try to convince you that you’re sooooo into them when you’re pretty sure you were just being polite? I’ve had it with the insanity. If I wanted me some cray cray, I’d be hooked on virtually any MTV ‘documentary’. If that’s what it takes to get some excitement in my life, pour me a shot of boredom.

I am extremely tired of the drama:

I can’t help it. I like simple things, and I like things to be simple. Unfortunately I have thus far been treated to relationships that have been ridiculously complicated. I have therefore developed a serious aversion to having to figure people out. It drains my energy and right now I don’t have that much to spare.

I guess those are the main reasons although, truth be told, I actually like having that extra pocket money in my wallet too. Romancing a woman is expensive damn it. I’m not going to be single for the rest of my life. Somewhere out there is a woman who says she appreciates a hopeless romantic (and actually means it for a change), and can put up with my BS. I’m content to take my time finding her because I know it’ll be worth it. Until then I’ll be refusing to settle and saving up for a PS5. And if she doesn’t come along? I’m fine with that too. I’ve been lucky enough to know what falling in love feels like. Some people go their entire lives without ever finding out.